So that we could spend time with them more then just on a Sunday morning, we started a kids club that meets the second and fourth Saturday evening of every month. For two hours we play games with them, make crafts, have a snack and share a short spiritual story. We have painted pumpkins, baked Christmas cookies, made soft pretzels and pizzas, designed and raced Pinewood Derby cars, pulled taffy, and done many other fun activities with them. We invited them and their parents to a Thanksgiving meal (sadly, the parents did not come), and included them in our Christmas program (again, the parents did not come). We took them on short excursions and the young adult girls at church had a movie and pizza night with the girls. We registered (and helped pay for) them to go to a Christian Summer Camp. In addition, a small group meets every Sunday morning at 8:00 am to pray specifically for them and their families.
Suffice it to say, many of us have put a lot of time and energy into planning and organizing activities and interactions with the children but often we are discouraged because although the kids love the fun and games, we wonder if we are really doing a good job of communicating and sharing the love of Jesus with them and their families. Although the parents are friendly when we talk to them over the phone or at their house, they refuse to attend any programs that we invite them too. They use the excuse of no gas, anxiety disorders, or physical limitations among others. We get the feeling that they like the fact that their children go to church, but they themselves are not interested in forging any new relationships with us.
Speaking for myself, I have had a difficult time loving these children. Many times they are obnoxious, disrespectful, loud, and plain down rude. More than once, I have just wanted to walk away from them and never come back. However, God is slowly changing my heart. Let me tell you about "Jenny."
When I first met Jenny over a year ago she was thirteen years old and angry. Whenever we introduced an activity, Bible story or game, she promptly declared it "stupid" and left us know that she had no intention of participating or listening. She brought her MP player and stuck her earphones in her ears and turned the music loud so that it blasted her eardrums and disrupted everyone else. When during a Bible story the Sunday School teacher talked about love and forgiveness, she informed him that "she hates everyone" and that she "loves to fight." She bragged about the people she had "punched," and walked around with a "don't mess with me" look on her face.
Gradually we learned that Jenny had some learning disabilities and could barely read at a second grade level. We began to understand that she had to appear tough with an I-don't-care attitude to hide her limitations. We searched harder for something that would connect with her and the others. It was obvious that they liked music because they were always listening to it so my sister-in-law, Rhoda, began meeting with them for 15 minutes each Sunday morning to sing with them and teach them songs. To our amazement, Jenny especially loved it. We discovered that she could sing and sing beautifully! She would sit on the bench during our Praise and Worship Time and act like she was bored out of her mind and listen to her own music or talk loudly to those around her. However, if we would start singing a song that she knew, the earphones would come out and she would join in and sing with all her might and so did the other children! We even persuaded them to sing up front on occasions and although Jenny always declared she wasn't going to do it, when the time came she marched up and participated along with the others.
As the year passed, sometimes Jenny would let down her guard. Once during a song that she didn't know, she began to sob uncontrollably. We asked her what was wrong and she said that the song made her feel sad. Slowly, we began to see another side of her. Even though she still was often rude, she began to show more interest in the Bible stories and activities and seemed to enjoy interacting with us a little more. It was encouraging to see these small improvements and to get glimpses of a different Jenny.
We found out that she sang in her middle school choir. I asked her when her Spring Concert was. She gave me the date and I told her that some of us might try to come. She looked at me skeptically and I could see that she didn't believe me.
Rhoda, Megan, Emily Ebaugh and I attended Jenny's concert. We found seats and waited for the choir to come in. They came in a side door and walked across the front of the auditorium to sit down while the orchestra played. We saw Jenny come in. She looked around and spotted her parents and sister and smiled at them. As she walked over to our side of the auditorium, the four of us began to wave wildly to get her attention. It was hard not to notice us and she soon looked our way. I will never forget the look of astonishment and pure joy that came across her face when she saw us. Her smile was huge and she became so excited! She literally jumped up and down and waved at us and then she gestured to where her family was sitting to try to get them to notice that we were there. She pointed us out to those on either side of her. In the whole year that I had known her, I had never seen her so animated or exuberant. After the program was over she came rushing back and hugged us all. We took pictures of her and told her she was beautiful and that she had done a fabulous job and she just beamed from ear to ear. All of us were so glad that we had made the effort to come. Her reaction to our presence was priceless and I believe it was because we made her feel special which is not something she is accustomed to feeling.
Attending her concert hasn't solved all our problems with Jenny, but it was definitely a turning point. Her attitude toward us is better and my attitude toward her is better. Seeing how much our attendance at her concert meant to her, gives me the incentive to continue on and to look for other ways that I can show her I am interested in her. One never knows how a small act of kindness will impact someone. Maybe someday, because of the seed we planted and the love we showed her, Jenny will be open to accepting the love that Jesus has for her. That is my hope and prayer.
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