I read blogs and Facebook posts written by young mothers who are struggling to potty train their 2-year-old, who can't remember the last time they got a full night of sleep, who despair of ever having a house that isn't strewn with toys, who lament meal time because there is always spilled drink and food messes to clean up, and I just smile.
I don't smile because I think it is funny or that their problems and stresses in life aren't important. Indeed, caring for small children is exhausting and the days, weeks, and years that are stretching out before them seem endless. I smile because I've been there and I know how quickly it is gone.
Tomorrow will be exactly two weeks until Megan and Jeremy's wedding. It seems like just yesterday that she was an energetic, inquisitive, adorable toddler. I know there were sleepless nights and times when I despaired that my house would ever be in order, but honestly I can hardly remember those days. When I look back I remember the good times. I remember how my mother's eyes lit up whenever I brought Megan to their house to visit. I remember how Steve and I and her brothers laughed at her constant jabbering and her antics that she didn't know were funny but to the rest of us were hilarious. I remember how she loved school. I remember how we would sing together loudly and in perfect unison on our way home from piano lessons. I remember how we would stop and treat ourselves to an ice cream cone at Pine View Dairy. I remember how she sailed through middle school without the horrible insecurity and girl problems that we hear so much about. I remember how she embraced high school and made wonderful friends and wasn't afraid to try new things. (She tried out for Campus Chorale and made it. She joined the softball team and although she is not a naturally gifted athlete with grit and determination she carved out a spot for herself on the team.) I remember the passion and dedication that she had for Bible quizzing. I remember when she started at Penn State she wrote Bible verses on her notebooks to encourage her throughout the day. I remember how she shared her faith with the new friends that she met. I remember the day she told me that she and Jeremy were officially dating. I remember her eyes shining when she showed me her engagement ring.
It took me about ten minutes to write the above paragraph and sometimes it feels like those years went by almost that quickly. Of course that is not true. Every day had 24 hours and we lived each one of them. At times I was absolutely exasperated with my daughter but it is funny how quickly those memories fade and are replaced with only the sweet, nostalgic ones. Time has a way of turning frustrating situations into fond memories.
So now we are about to embark on a new journey. The old memories are just that--old, sweet memories. I would be lying if I said that there was no sadness in watching my daughter get married. It is hard to let go. I will miss never hearing her come home again and never hearing her footsteps on the stairs to her bedroom that creak as she enters her room. I will miss our spontaneous conversations that usually occur in the kitchen.
However, I will be all right. Each day brings a chance to make new memories. It's not like I am losing my daughter, our relationship will just be different. And, as difficult as it can be to see the end of an era it is just as exciting to begin a new one. I would not want it any other way.
I don't expect to blog much, if any, in the next two weeks. I believe life will be pretty hectic and busy. However, I have to allow myself one last memory of the little girl that was and also add a picture of the little boy that won her heart. I pray that their journey together will make many wonderful memories.
