Sisters :)

With over a decade between me and my sister (11 years to be exact), it didn't even feel like I had a sister when I was growing up. By the time I was old enough to appreciate a sister, Lois was already dating and pretty much out of the house.  One faint memory comes from when I was about 5 years old.  Up until that time I had slept in a corner of my parents' bedroom and they were anxious to get me out of there.  Lois was told that I would be moving to her bedroom.  I was excited but Lois was not. My parents compromised by putting me in a single bed and not making Lois share a double bed with me. In the next few years, Lois graduated from high school, went to nursing school, got married and moved to Colorado and then Kansas.  To me, she was just a distant member of the family; someone who I knew was my sister but not anyone that I related to closely.

The years passed and and she and her family moved back to the area. After I got married and became a mother we began to connect with each other a little bit. I found that I liked talking and sharing my life with her.  So this was what it was like to have a sister! 

In many ways we are different. She loves gardening. I hate it. She is competent at sewing. I am not. She is always excited about a new project.  I tend to like things to stay the way they are and not try something new.  She is often late. I am almost always on time. She is somewhat forgetful with appointments, etc. I usually am not (although I will admit that the older I get the more forgetful I am becoming).

We also have a lot in common.  Both of us got married at the age of 20 and we each have three sons and one daughter. We dislike cleaning and we like reading, scrabble and cooking. Another thing we share is the need to spend time alone. Some people can't understand this but we just laugh and nod understandingly when one of us says, "I just need an hour or two by myself to get my life back in order."  There is something about solitude that refreshes both of us.

I learned a lot from Lois.  Once when my boys were small, one of them dumped a huge glob of mustard on new carpet we had just put in our living room.  I couldn't get the stain out and I was furious.  After unloading to Lois she made this comment which I have never forgotten: "In 5 years, this incident will make no difference in your life."  This was such good advice and I have remembered it many times through the years. Most of life's hardships or "catastrophes" that are huge at the moment will only become a small dot, if not completely forgotten in the future. It has helped me to put my life in perspective and to focus on the things/relationships that really will make a difference to me in 10 or 20 years.

The bottom line about a sister is that she is someone who will always be there for you.  There are times when we rarely speak and there are times when we speak every day.  However, I always know that if something happens in my life (good or bad), my sister will be happy or sad with me. She is the one I will turn to when I just need someone to understand.

Last Friday was my birthday. Dutifully, my husband, children and siblings called, texted, or in some way wished me a happy birthday.  All except Lois.  I told you she was forgetful!  On Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk at work when a man walked in carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I'm sure the shock showed on my face when he said, "Mary Lehman?".  As I took the flowers, I was trying to figure out who would have sent them to me and for what occasion. Of all the names and possibilities that flashed through my brain, Lois never made the list.  Here is what I read when I opened the card:

 

Missed your birthday?

NO WAY!

Your Sister