I Do

Thirty-three years ago today, as a 20 year-old, I married a young man who was barely 19 1/2 years-old! Some might ask "what were you thinking?!?!" I know many people question the wisdom of getting married so young and while it is true that we were naïve and definitely lacking maturity when we embarked on our marital journey, we were able to make it work and I don't regret it. Would it have been better to be older before we took such a huge step? Possibly. Possibly not. One never knows the path not traveled. I believe what is right for one person/couple may not be right for another and that doesn't necessarily make one way "right" and the other way "wrong." (Now that I've given my mini-sermon, I'll get on with my blog.)

It is with a great deal of pride that I can say that I have been married to the same man for 33 years. Together, we have weathered the bumps and curves that life threw at us. Together, we have shared innumerable joys as well as countless disappointments. Together, we have raised four amazing children to adulthood and together we have welcomed two lovely daughters-in-law and four adorable grandchildren into our family.

Trust me, there were plenty of times that we struggled mightily--financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc. There were times when we were so mad at each other that we couldn't even find words to express our anger. There were times when we didn't even like each other at all. There were times when we felt like walking away from each other. Thankfully, there were also times when we were so happy with each other that we couldn't find words to express our happiness. There were times when we liked each other a lot. There were times when we just wanted to be alone together and spend time with each other.

We learned what makes the other person happy and what makes them sad. We learned to appreciate each others gifts and talents. We learned to compliment and encourage each other in our strong points and not to focus on each others weaknesses. We learned to give a little and compromise even when we didn't feel like it. We learned to put God first in our own lives and in our marriage. We learned to trust God's leading and to trust each other. We matured individually and as a couple.

Life has taught us a lot of lessons and I hope we are the wiser because of them. When we are going through tough situations they seem so difficult and discouraging. However, I realize these hard times along with the good times have shaped and molded us into the people we are today. I can't honestly say that I am glad for hardships but I can say that I appreciate what they teach us. I have learned that you can't always control what life throws at you but you can control how you react to what is thrown at you.

When I think of all the memories Steve and I have created together, it makes me smile. There have been so many good times we have shared together with each other, family and friends. For many years the house was busy and active as our children were growing up. Now we are entering the "empty nest" phase of our life. Although this is not without its sadness, we are enjoying doing some things that we didn't do when we were younger. We play more golf, travel a little bit more and buy a few more luxuries. We also love spending time with our little grandchildren.

Thirty-three years is a long time to live with one person. We both have changed so much since we said "I do" in that country church so long ago, but I like who we have become and am looking forward to sharing many more years with the man I love. Happy anniversary to us!

Dear Megan

Happy 19th birthday!! How do I even start when writing a letter to my one and only daughter? I guess at the beginning.

After three boys, I desperately wanted to know what gender I was carrying during my fourth pregnancy. My boys are the greatest guys on earth and another male child would have been fantastic, but I just wanted to know ahead of time to take the anxiety out of the birth. Some people love to be surprised, but I was never like that. I wanted to prepare my mind ahead of time as to whether we would be welcoming a boy or a girl into our family.  However, during my sonogram, the technician claimed that you were turned the wrong way and it was impossible to tell what sex you were. I was very disappointed, but decided to set my mind in preparation for a boy as I figured that was the most likely. Dad, however, kept insisting that you were definitely a girl and he had all the boys convinced too.  Whenever anyone asked the boys whether they wanted a brother or sister they all replied "sister", because that was what Dad had coached them to do. I was skeptical but deep in my heart, I hoped they were right.

Your due date passed with no signs of you making an entrance into the world. Finally, five days later the big day arrived. After a long night of very little sleep for me (Dad dozed off and on) you were born at 9:03 on Sunday morning. I held my breath in the few seconds after you were born waiting the announcement, and then someone said, "it's a girl!"  Seriously, I could not believe it. Dad and I were absolutely ecstatic! We were crying and laughing at the same time. You, however, were not happy. As soon as you got your lungs working, you made good use of them. You just cried and cried. We tried everything. The nurses held you, I held you, Dad held you, but you would not be consoled. I tried to nurse you, but you were too busy crying to even think about sucking. I remember thinking, "Well, you got your girl, but now what? Is she going to be this impossible to please?" After trying unsuccessfully for a long while to get you to calm down, a nurse thankfully offered to take you to the nursery and she disappeared from our room with you still wailing. When she brought you back several hours later you were as calm as could be. You were very agreeable to nursing and you were contended to stay with us.  I don't know what she did to you, but it worked!

We couldn't wait to share our good news with family and friends. Since everyone was at church, and it was before cell phones, we were not able to get hold of Grandpa and Grandma Lehman and the boys (who were staying with them) to let them know.  I did, however call the phone at River Corner (our church) around 10:00 and someone answered so the news of your birth was announced during Sharing Time.  I am told that everyone clapped and that there was great excitement over this special announcement. Dad was able to leave and get to Grandpa & Grandma Lehman's house before they and the boys got home from church, so he was able to tell them personally that their little sister had arrived.

Thankfully, those first hours after your birth were not a harbinger of your personality.  You were a happy, contented child and all of us enjoyed you immensely. Grandma Denlinger was recovering from a stroke and you were a much needed joy in her life. You and I would make the walk up to their house almost every day and visit with her and Grandpa.

You were soon talking and jabbering away and were totally oblivious to the amusement you caused everyone. I remember one time you were telling Shawn and me about something and we were almost doubled over in laughter with the way you were expressing yourself and the words you were using. You happily kept on talking and were completely unaware that we were getting so much entertainment at your expense.

There are way too many memories to write in one short blog, but here are some of the things I remember from your preschool years:

After an accident while learning to use the potty, you disgustedly and emphatically stated, "me not never do that again!"

While traveling we stopped at a motel room and explained to you that we would be sleeping there. You ran through the two adjoining rooms and then came back to question me with "aren't the people home?"

We took a trip to South Carolina to visit Grandpa and Grandma Lehman who were helping with Habitat for Humanity there. We spent a day at the ocean and you were so excited over the water and the beach that you exclaimed, "when I get big and have a little girl, I am going to take her to the ocean!"

As the little sister following three brothers, you tried so hard to keep up with those big boys. When Josh ran over to the neighbors to swim in their pool you were right behind him. Never mind that you couldn't swim and the water was too deep for you.  You survived by learning how to tread water and to this day you still tread water better than you swim. It was literally sink or swim and you were determined not to be left out of the fun.

Because you were so many years behind your brothers, you and I spent a lot of time together just by ourselves. Wherever I went, you went. We were rarely separated during the first four years of your life and I think that is partly the reason that you didn't believe that I would actually leave you at preschool that first day. I can still picture you clinging to the steering wheel of the car as I tried to drag you out of it to go into the church. Your cries followed me down the hall as I left you in the charge of your teacher. It took every ounce of willpower that I had not to turn around and run into that room and hug you and take you back home with me.

Even though it was a rocky start to your school years, it soon got a lot better. You loved school and were an excellent student. I always enjoyed hearing about your days. The one big difference between you and the boys was that you liked to tell me what happened at school, whereas with the boys I usually just got "good" when I asked them how their day was.

I have always appreciated your optimistic outlook on life. You were never one to bemoan your circumstances or try to get sympathy when you were hurt or things didn't go your way. When you were little and skinned your knee or elbow or injured yourself some other way you always insisted "I'm okay!" On that fateful Christmas day when you and Josh and Jay were involved in the accident that left a nasty scar on your forehead, you were so brave and didn't complain. I never once heard you say, "I hate this scar." You just accepted it. When you lost the tip of your finger in another accident, you were such a trooper with everything. Throughout the whole ordeal---the Vicodin that kept you awake, the surgery, the rehab--you accepted whatever you had to deal with. The one and only time that I thought you were going to faint, was when they took the stitches out of your finger. I can still see the beads of perspiration on your head and your clenched teeth as you tried to endure the pain. Still, you persevered and I was so proud of you, although actually it was killing me just watching you suffer.

I am thankful that you always chose good friends. Although you had plenty of school friends it was always interesting to see how the five of you girls from River Corner stuck together throughout your childhood and teen years. You were so blessed to have these girls in your life and I was blessed to hear and witness all the giggling and laughter and crazy antics that followed the five of you when you were together.

I have so many good memories of us doing things together...singing loudly and in perfect unison in the car on the way home from piano lessons....shopping at Goodwill....Pine View ice cream cones....traveling to Philadelphia to watch tennis....birthday overnight outings and back-to-school shopping....critiquing wedding dresses....playing Scrabble....laughing at and with each other (cutting off the Excedrin lid!)...dissecting what went right and what went wrong with your softball games....and much, much more.  However, probably some of the best memories of time spent together are from Bible quizzing. It was a passion that we both shared and loved. I can still see us in the basement during those winter evenings as we studied the material together. I would sit on the chair and ask you questions and you would lay on the sofa. As I quizzed you, you constantly moved. Sometimes, I would look over and you were rolling on the floor and sometimes you were hanging over the back of the sofa and sometimes you were perched precariously on the top of the sofa. Once in a while, you fell off and we both laughed hysterically. Through it all, you put all the information in your brain and by the time Sunday arrived you were ready to quiz.  And quiz you did. To say you were a good quizzer would be an understatement. You were an awesome quizzer!!! I always loved our teams and everyone tried their best and I was always proud of each and every team. You and I really wanted to win a trophy but as the years passed we wondered if it would ever happen. Then came the magical year of 2011. The River Corner Fabulous Five and Jasmine nailed a second place finish and earned a plaque and trophy!! I don't think you and I stopped smiling for several days. What a great memory!!

I really appreciate the way you have dedicated yourself to living a Christian and godly life. At a young age you accepted Christ as your Savior and I have continued to see you grow spiritually year by year. You don't automatically follow the crowd and aren't afraid to speak up for what you believe. When you entered the secular college world, you covered your folders, notebooks and backpack with Bible verses. What a great way to let others know that you are a Christian and that you are willing to share your faith with others. It is wonderful to see you using your talents to bless others. Your musical talents are a blessing to all of us at church as you lead us through singing. Being willing to give up every 2nd and 4th Saturday evening to work with the Kids Club shows your commitment to sharing Christ to the community and so does your involvement with the Good News Club at the Conestoga Elementary School.

You are also a good worker! Household chores are definitely not your favorite but you certainly live up to the title of "Farmer's Daughter." If it is agricultural, you are interested. It has made me tired watching you this summer working four jobs, but I am also immensely proud of the responsible person you have become.

Having a daughter is special and I just want to thank you for being an amazing and loving person. I know that right now you are uncertain about the future and at times you question the wisdom of continuing on in college but I want to encourage you to persevere (as I know you will). God has a plan and it will unfold before you in ways that you cannot dream or imagine. I pray for you every day and I am so excited to see what His plans are for you.  In the meantime try not to be impatient and enjoy the journey!

Megan Elizabeth Lehman, I am so fortunate and blessed to call you my daughter. If I had to choose from all the daughters in the world, I would choose you each and every time! I love you!

Love,

Mom

So Cute: Part 2

 

 

 

Last Friday, Jay and Kristen and the girls spent the day at Knoebel's Amusement Park and we had the pleasure of keeping nine month old Mark for most of the day. It was special to be able to give him some undivided attention. He is such a pleasant and cute little fellow and we had a great time with him. Of course I got my camera out and snapped some pictures and videos.

 

 

He likes anything with wheels. He enjoys making them spin around.

In the evening we took him back to his house and he played happily in his familiar surroundings for quite some time. He found Grandpa's face especially fascinating.

Dear Alexis

Oh my! I can't believe you are 4 years old already!  You are such a beautiful and intelligent little girl and I am so thankful that you are my granddaughter. Your enthusiasm for life, bright smile and sunny disposition make you a joy to be around.

I remember the day you were born. Grandpa and I were so excited when your daddy called to tell us that you had arrived. We hurried into the hospital to meet you. Thanks to you, we had now entered into the fun stage of life called grand parenting that everyone had told us was so great. They were right! Grand parenting is one of the most special stages of life.

I remember you as a contented baby, and fairly active at a young age. I don't think you were much more than seven months old when you learned to zip around in the walker all over the house. I was amazed that someone so tiny could navigate her way so easily from the kitchen to the living room by whirling around in that vehicle that gave you the freedom to go where you wanted to. From an early age you loved books and you still do to this day. I love to sit with you and read a book together.

And those big brown eyes!  How I love them. When you were small, you would just stare at people for awhile before you warmed up to them. I remember one family reunion at Great Grandpa and Grandma Lehman's when you were probably around a year old. There was a lot of people there and a lot of commotion. Your daddy carried you in and you just STARED at everyone. If someone tried to talk to you, you just stared at them and didn't crack a smile. I think this went on for at least fifteen minutes before you relaxed and left me take you to the toy box. It was SO cute!

You were soon walking and talking. Quickly you learned how to push a chair to wherever you wanted to go so you could use it as a stepstool to get up onto the table or counter. The kitchen sink was one of your favorite places. You loved to help wash dishes and you would play in the water for a long time. From a very early age you loved to be a helper. Your mommy is so wonderful at encouraging you to help in any way that you can. She patiently lets you participate in whatever she is doing--washing, cooking, baking, gardening, or whatever. Several times when I kept you, we would make chocolate chip cookies together and we had a great time and I was always amazed at your knowledge of baking.

I love the way you talk!  You are such a conversationalist and your vocabulary is absolutely amazing. From early on, you used big words and you used them accurately. I wish I would have written down some of our telephone conversations because they were so funny and entertaining. You would go on and on about what you were doing and what everyone else was doing and you would just go from one topic to another without hardly even taking a breath. You used big words like "considering," and "absolutely," with ease. One of your favorite phrases is "Well, I was thinking...."

I love the way you laugh! When you get silly you just laugh and laugh and laugh. It is a deep laugh that comes from way down inside you and comes spilling out your lungs and I laugh just watching and hearing you laugh!

I love the way you sing! You have such a beautiful voice and I enjoy listening to it. One of your favorite activities at my house is watching the Silly Songs DVD. You learned the songs quickly and you like to sing them over and over again. I hope you continue to sing and enjoy music all of your life.

I love your imagination! When we play together I am astounded at the way you can pretend and make-believe. We play store and house and you continually come up with things and ideas that are wonderfully imaginative. What a gift! I think a child with a big imagination is a child who learns to be creative and who knows where your creativity will take you in your life!

You also know how to express your feelings and put them into words. One of my favorite conversations was one you had with Grandpa when you were still really young--maybe around 2 years old. At times you were a little afraid of Grandpa and you felt safer with me. This changed as you got older and now you happily love to go along with him in the truck and tractor but when you were smaller, you just weren't quite sure about it. Once you and Grandpa were talking on the phone and Grandpa asked you if it would be alright if he and Grandma came to visit you that evening. You thought for a little and then you said, "Grandma come. You stay home!" Grandpa got such a good laugh out of it and when he shared it with me, we laughed about it together for a long time.

You are such a loving and accepting little girl. When Lydia and Mark joined your family, you were so happy to welcome them. You are a great big sister and when I keep all three of you, I depend on you to answer my questions about what your siblings like and need. As the oldest, it will always fall on you to be an example for your siblings and I know that you will handle that responsibility well. I remember when I kept you over the times when Lydia and Mark were born. You missed your mommy and daddy and especially at night you would say, "I want my mommy and daddy" but you tried so hard to be brave and you would choke back the tears and I would lay with you until you fell asleep.  I loved the feel of your little hand in mine as I held it until sleep gently overtook you.

I have to mention your beautiful hair. It is so long and absolutely gorgeous and hangs so smoothly down to the middle of your back. I love the way your ponytail bounces when you jump up and down and I love the way you look like a sophisticated little lady when it is pinned in a neat bun on the top of your head.

Grandparents like to know that  they are loved and appreciated by their grandchildren. That is why I will always treasure your words from one time when Grandpa and I were visiting with you and your family. Grandpa and Daddy were talking outside on the porch and the rest of us had gone into the house. I told you that Grandpa and I needed to get ready to go home. You ran to the sofa and laid on it and tears ran down your cheeks. When your mommy asked you what was wrong you said, "I'm sad that Grandma  has to go home." Ahhhh, those words just melted my heart.

I love you Alexis Grace Lehman and am so blessed to be your grandma.

Love,

Grandma

Here is a video of you and Lydia helping me water the flowers.



Here is a video of you blowing out the candles on your cake. You can hear Lydia crying in the background and then you explain that she thought it was her birthday and that is why she is crying.

So Cute!

Now that I have learned how to take videos properly (blog March 26), I am enjoying taking them of my grandchildren. It has become a form of entertainment for Alexis and Lydia and me.  After I take a video of them, I put it in a folder on my computer desktop that is labeled "grandkid videos." Whenever they come to visit, the three of us sit at my computer and watch them. The girls absolutely love it, and sometime I should take a video of them watching the videos because it would be entertaining in itself. Alexis adjusts the office chair to their height and they both sit on it together. Lydia plops her finger in her mouth and twirls her hair and Alexis clicks on the picture to start the show. They both sit there enthralled and when they see themselves on the screen they giggle. Often they even laugh out loud when they see themselves doing something funny on the video. When it ends, Lydia bounces up and down in the chair and takes her finger out of her mouth long enough to shout, "gen! gen!" We either watch the same one again or we proceed to another one. I have quite a few now, so we don't always watch all of them, but they definitely have their favorites and one of them is the very first chopped up one that I took of them accidently.  Whenever, we get to the part where Alexis sticks out her blue tongue, they both find it extremely funny.

I have the feeling that they will always find these "movies" of themselves amusing. I can just imagine them as teenagers still watching them. From time to time I am going to post some of them on my Blog so in the event something unfortunate happens to my folder on my desktop, a few of them will live on in Blogger infinity. Of course, I am also posting them because they are just so cute! Who doesn't like to watch two little girls watering flowers or clowning around in Grandma's kitchen or a little two year old running clutching her watering can as she goes back for more water to fill it up?

Have I mentioned that I love being a grandma and that I love these little girls?

Too Blessed to Complain

Yesterday's devotional from Our Daily Bread really spoke to me. This is not a new concept and we often speak about our blessings and I know that I have abundantly more than a lot of people in the world. But sometimes seeing it firsthand is more powerful than just hearing or reading about other people's poverty.

As a church, we have been trying hard to reach out to our local community. In an earlier blog, I wrote about the children that we have been interacting with. In this blog I am going to talk a little bit about their parents.  I have gradually been learning to know them better and am finding them to be kind and thoughtful and appreciative of what we have been doing with their children. They truly love their children and are doing the best they can to be good parents to them.

We have been communicating specifically with three families. Here is a brief sketch of some of the things they are dealing with. All names have been changed and some situations as well to protect their privacy.

Tom and Beth have 5 children of their own. Beth operated a daycare for years but was forced to discontinue it around 2008 because of her own personal health issues. She and Tom adopted a brother and sister (ages 4 & 2) that had attended her daycare who were going to be put in foster care. To me, this shows that she loved and cared deeply for the children that she was in charge of. Both Tom and Beth have severe health issues and yet they adopted these two little children when their own children were practically grown. In talking with them, they are strapped tight for money, with a lot of it going for prescription medicines (Tom is diabetic and also needs extra oxygen) and other medical expenses for themselves. The boy and girl are now 10 and 12 years old and they have been coming to our kids club. The parents were so appreciative when the church financially helped to send them to camp for a week. Beth told Steve that it would have been impossible for them to come up with the money to send them, and they are so thankful that their children can have this opportunity.

Greg and Cheryl live with Greg's two daughters in a mobile home in a mobile home park. They are both on disability so on a very limited income but it is obvious they care very much for the girls. I have had the privilege of texting back and forth with Cheryl and have found her to be a very easy person to chat with. When the girls went to camp she sent me their address and asked me to pass it on to others from church so we could write a letter to them. Greg and Cheryl were very excited about taking the girls to camp and agreed to drive them there themselves, however, they had no gas for their car until the next disability check came. We were able to loan them some money, so they could make the trip. Another thing I have noticed about this family, is how Greg tends to his small yard. He is obviously a skilled gardener as beautiful flowers are planted around the mobile home and around the tree in the yard as well as the porch.

Sue lives with her fiancé Mark and 2 daughters in the same mobile home park as Greg and Cheryl. Their mobile home dates back to 1966 and is in great need of repair. Mark works full-time as a baker and Sue has just completed online classes and received a BS in legal studies so is searching for a job as a paralegal, administrative assistant, or legal secretary. Meanwhile she is on welfare, until she can get herself back on her feet. I admire the way Sue took the initiative and earned her degree so she can hopefully have a better life for herself and her daughters. However, of course, she now has student loans to pay back so it will be awhile before she can make much headway, and obviously, the first thing she needs to even get started is a job. There was water damage to the ceiling and walls of the trailer and Sue and Mark needed some paint and other materials to patch things up. Stretched as they are to make every penny count, there was no money for these necessary repairs and we as a church were able to help with purchasing the materials they needed.  They were so grateful and Sue keeps asking what she can do to repay us (not monetarily, but through service or some other way).

These families amaze me. To me they have not complained about their lot in life and they are not looking for a free handout. They state the facts the way that they are and they are dealing with their situations as best they can. They have so little and I have so much. Of course I do not have an unlimited money supply, but I would not think twice about writing out a check to send my child to camp. At the gas pump, I simply swipe my card and don't even consider whether I can afford to fill my tank. If the house needs repair, we go and get the materials that we need to fix it (unless it is a major renovation like replacing the porch!). Yet I will complain that I haven't gone on a vacation for years, that I have too much yard to mow, that the house is too big for me to keep after, or that I am so busy working I don't have time to do something else that I would enjoy. How SILLY! I need to stop and look around me and see how I can share the blessings that I have with others. I need to change my attitude from "I don't have time to deal with other people's problems" to  "I need to take the time to listen and to help others who are dealing with major life crises."

Working with these families has opened my eyes to how many around us live on a very meager income and just barely scrape along and sometimes can't even afford what we consider the necessities of life. I have no idea why I have so much and others so little (life isn't fair). However, maybe I have been put in these people's lives for such a time as this. If I am available to listen to them, love them and their children, and pray for and with them, God is able to do much more than I can ask or imagine in all of our lives. My prayer is that I will keep my eyes and ears open to ways that I can bless others and that I will keep my mouth shut when I am tempted to complain about some minor inconvenience in my life.

~ We don't need more to be thankful for, we just need to be more thankful. ~ Bill Crowder

Before and After

For years we have been saying that we needed to replace our porch and windows and put vinyl siding on the wooden part of the house where the paint was chipped off and fading. Of course, every time we thought about it the dollar signs we envisioned in our head made us cringe and we always pushed it on the back burner until "next year." Well, finally we gulped and put out the money and did it. I LOVE it. Here are some before and after pictures.

 

 

 

Once in a while spending some money actually feels good!  I am so happy with our renovations and as you can see from the pictures, Chip is too!