There are some things that are etched into your memory that you will never forget. In this day and age we are always snapping pictures to capture "the moment" and I am as guilty of doing that as the next person. But sometimes it is just good to put away the camera and capture the memory in your heart.
One of the memories that I have of my mom is several weeks before she died. Steve and I were at Landis Homes visiting her on a Sunday afternoon. We usually took her to the cafe at the Home for supper but she said she was really hungry for a hot dog and that was something they never served there so she hadn't had one for a long time. At first Steve and I were just going to pass it off and say she would just have to do without one and then we kind of looked at each other and said, "well, why don't we try to get her one." We loaded her into our car and drove to a nearby Sonic where we purchased her a hot dog and she happily ate it. It was sort of an inconvenience but it meant so much to her that we were glad we made the effort to find her one. Four days later she was suddenly no longer able to swallow and keep food down and in a few short weeks she died. I cannot tell you how many times since then Steve and I have mentioned how thankful we were that we took Mom out for a hot dog that day. No, I don't have a picture of her eating the hot dog, but I sure will never forget that memory.
On Thanksgiving Day, because Steve's dad's health has been declining, we decided to take the meal to their house. Over the years, I have often had Steve's mom and dad at my house on Thanksgiving Day as Steve's siblings had family gatherings with their spouse's family. When my dad was alive, he would join us too. I would also invite any of my children who didn't have other plans as well, and normally some of them came, but usually not all. This year, when I mentioned to my children that I was making the meal and taking it to eat at Grandpa and Grandma's house, they all said that they would come as well. Some had other gatherings at noon but all felt it was important to come for supper.
I left Mom make the turkey (I knew she would want to do something) with instructions that we would get there early to carve it. Kristen made the desserts (huge help for me!) and I made everything else. I spent most of Thanksgiving morning making food and then we packed it up and drove to Mom & Dad's.
Dad was weak and using his oxygen most of the time. When it was time to eat, we helped him to the head of the table and Steve asked if he wanted to say the prayer. We all bowed our heads and Dad thanked the Lord for all our blessings and family and food among other things. I wondered if this was the last time I would hear him leading the prayer before a meal. The food was passed and everyone ate more than they needed to. It was rewarding to see Dad fill his plate and eat it all and then take seconds as well.
After the meal, we helped him to his chair and he put his oxygen on again. When the dishes had been washed we all gathered in the living room around Mom and Dad. I gave them each a bag with the words on "I'm thankful for Grandpa because.... and "I'm thankful for Grandma because..." Inside were strips of paper on which each of us had written down something that we were thankful especially for them. They took turns pulling the papers out of their bag and reading them out loud. After they read one they had to guess who had written it. Some were easy like, "I'm thankful that you introduced me to Julissa," and some were more difficult for them to guess, "I'm thankful that you love me" (Alexis).
I did not pull my camera out to take a picture, but I didn't need to. Sitting there and watching them pull those papers out of their bags and reading them and looking around the room and trying to guess who wrote it, will always be a picture in my mind and I believe in my children's as well. As the slogan goes, "it was priceless."
The next day, Dad was much worse. As I write this, I don't know if that may have been the last time that he will have been able to really enjoy our presence. Maybe there will be more times and maybe their won't. However, I'm pretty sure (barring a miracle) that he will not be with us for another Thanksgiving Day. I know that I will always look back on that day with thankfulness that we went the extra mile and took the meal to their house and that Steve and I and our children and grandchildren got to spend that special day with them. No picture needed.
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